i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
