Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
