You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize