Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
