just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
