What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
