Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
