Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
