im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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