is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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