a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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