Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
