I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
