what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
