then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
