never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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