I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
