She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
