Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
