I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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