debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
