Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
