You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
