I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
