i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
