I didn't shave. On purpose
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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