Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
