Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
