This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
