he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize