Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize