I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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