Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
