and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
