The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish you could order shots online.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize