You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
