I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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