The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
