hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
