I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
