we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Boobs are out for the taking
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
