3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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