My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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