She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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