So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
