can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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