If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
