sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
