i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize