hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
