Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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