I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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