Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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