Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
