you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
