i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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