did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
