At least make sure they are 18
Why
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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