oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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