Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
