I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Actions speak louder than pants.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
