Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
