There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
