sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
