I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
