Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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