My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
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