Welp...herpes.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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