There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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