We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
