i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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