Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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