There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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