help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
