That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
