she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
